Author Signing as a Fat Girl

There are two things you need to understand about me.

First, I say exactly what I am thinking.

Second, I can sometimes be too nice.

Seems like a contradiction, right? Well let me explain. Oh, I’m also fat. It’s a thing. Sometimes, it causes problems. Sometimes, it’s hilarious. So, this weekend I was at an author signing. It was super cool and I met some interesting individuals. But it was also annoying for a fat girl like me. See, I took a spot in the middle. (I know poor planning on my part.) I was stuck in that spot for hours. If I wanted to leave I had to ask four people to move for me, just so I could squeeze my fat ass between the insignificant space between the chairs and the table. I mean, what the hell were they thinking. I stared at the damn pizza truck all day. I swear, there was drool pooling from my mouth at around three, two hours after the event started. By the time five rolled around, I had given up on eating entirely. Well, not entirely. I had thought about all the yummy places I could stop after leaving the signing. It was my only salvation as I sat their salivating.

This is where my second problem comes into play. I could have at any time asked the people next to me to get up so I could get through. I, being too nice, only left when they did. I had to get some hard cider. It was the reason I was there. You put books and hard cider together in one place and I will be there, guaranteed. What’s stupid is the people next to me were super cool and would have moved if I asked them to. I didn’t. (See, second problem.)

I still had a really good time. I joked about my fat girl problem every time I had to squeeze between the space to go back and sit in front of my books. I also drank plenty of hard cider, it was delicious. So, if you’re reading this and planning an event in the future. Please remember us bigger people, and maybe leave a little extra room.

Check out daily musings at my Fat Girl Problems Facebook Group.

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I'm a middle/high school teacher by day, writer by night.

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